stay open eyes.

man, its been a hard week. Very hard. I want to crawl in a ball and maybe just quit for one day, stay in bed one whole day. At the same time, I know I need to keep moving. 

My dad is in the hospital, he had surgery. They took the ball of cancer he had in his colon out. Its the strangest thing to watch him struggle to walk 3 feet and to be in a bed all day in pain. He's definitely recovering well, its just not a good feeling to see your father become older. He's always been invincible until this whole cancer thing. I'll say it, I don't like getting old, then that means everyone else around me gets older too. 

I stayed at the hospital last night, he did so well. He just hit his morphine button every 15 min and that helped him sleep for an hour in between the times the nurse came in. They have these easy chairs that fold out completely into beds and that's where I was on by my dad's side. Its a new experience having a sleep over with your dad at the hospital, I'm glad I was able to. 

Today I'm just plain worn out. Yet, I still know I need to fight for the gospel. My dad definitely would, no matter how he felt, and I'm sure I only feel a fraction of the exhaustion he does. He's doing so well. He'll be out be tomorrow most likely. He is on a liquid diet and they are waiting for a bowel movement.

Headed out to do all worship tonight at church. Pray God moves and changes this stubborn old valley. Pray He rips down barriers keeping us from loving more deeply, more truthfully.