You wouldn't look and expect what you see. We all have a different sense of style entirely. Honestly, its such a hodge podge of colors and hair cuts. Somehow hearts can be knit so closely, so easily, disregarding the way you talk and the music you listen to. I think that's the way God wanted it. He looks down and says, why do you guys even care, I mean, originally you were supposed to hang out naked.
It really makes you feel alive, just to go live and forget what we're 'supposed' to look like, or act like. Its nice to jump in lakes and play basketball until you can't sweat anymore with people who just live, they just really only care to live. And the only common bond is our Saviour. The most beautiful and enriching connection we could have, and that makes us all breath and wake up day to day.
I'm very thankful for where I am right now. God, you are so good. Even if its not easy, its good. Thank you

I'm feeling really good today. I mean it is Thursday, we've made it through over half the week. Its a beautiful thing.
Last night Caleb took me to Rice King for dinner, I ate WAY too many cream cheese wontons and then we went hiking on my current favorite trail just past a couple miles past Vivian Park in Provo Canyon. Its so gorgeous up in the canyon right now, I love the drive to Big Springs Hollow, its filled with old farm houses, open fields, little creeks, and rusty barns. We saw a baby deer on our way up there last night! I'll have to take pictures next time we go up there because it is just the most peaceful, wonderful area. No one was on the trail, which surprised me, but I love that its not very busy up there, it just adds to the serene background.
Lucy has a blast exploring and Caleb and I had a great time talking and laughing and enjoying creation. God is so good, if I don't believe it, then I can just head to the mountains and have no doubt. We had a good time of prayer together up there. Its an amazing place to worship God.
What a great way to spend our date, we need to investigate more trails up there. Hopefully this summer we'll hit a BUNCH of trails. There is so much to be discovered.
Also, one more month and I get to spend a week on the coast! I'm basically bursting with excitment about that. Again, God is so good to provide. Have a great Thursday!

We heart it
With my kid on my shoulders,

I'll try Not to hurt anybody I like

But I don't have the drugs to sort

I don't have the drugs to sort it out, sort it out

Yellow voices swallowing my soul, soul, soul, soul



-The National

Street lamps

I love walking the streets at night with a good conversation. A new discovery and a friendship. Its more than interesting to see where people have come from, where they plan on going, and what they'll do in between.
I mark people down as who they are before I really even know. I wish I could sit down with people the minute I know them and say, what's the hardest thing that has happened to you, and what has brought you the most joy?
I walk a line of so much appreciation. I am so grateful to God for healing my dad, and I know so many haven't had that same outcome. I know so many have had to feel the pain til the end and they still feel it in the quiet spaces, in the loving interaction of a mother and her daughter. Its the elephant in the room.
There are so many brave people I know. So many people that have conquered many mountains and had to swims through too many storms. I'm so proud of them and sometimes I forget where they've been because they have chosen to move on so strongly. I am so blessed to have these people standing so firmly next to me. I know they won't run, if they were going to run it would've been years ago.
I decide people's motives and desires way to quickly for my own good. People change, people grow up and sometimes I stick them in a box of neverland. Last night opened my eyes to see even my own family is changing and standing up, and I'm so proud of them. I'm so proud of who my siblings are becoming.
I love the new relationships, and I love the worn ones. You have to have both.

weheartit

The power went off at work yesterday. We all went home early, but we have to make the time up on Friday. So all this time I was thinking it'd be so cool if the power went out, but then I found out we have to make the time up anyway. I'm not really impressed.

Virginia May

Gregory Alan Isakov is coloring my morning gray and peaceful. I can't take loud noises or lights, my eyes are still sleeping, well, really my entire face is still wanting to be in bed.
We had Refuge on Campus (ROC) last night. It was pretty amazing to be singing at the top of our lungs to our King in the student center. It's so encouraging to be with the body. Really there is no replacement.
It rained for 2 minutes, huge drops as big as grapes, but after that it just threatened until we left the park. We played frisbee until it was too dark and we all rememebered we work early in the morning.
There is not much time until the next 5k. My score from the race on saturday was 28min. I'm hoping by the end of July at my last race I'll be down to 26 or so. I really need to go on actual runs, lately I've just relied on frisbee to get me in shape.
Today is a great day to go hiking and I have a hiking DATE. I'm very excited. Right after work we're heading to Slate Canyon to hike with the pups. Jen just moved her from Logan and before that Michigan. I already like her a lot. Hopefully we can take lots of adventures together up these gorgeous hills and canyons. There is a whole other world to explore up there and I intend to.
Here's to hoping work flies by...

I heard the women on the other line, she was much older, definitely a grandmother, which made me even more upset about sitting at this desk. It made me upset about choices made, but again, its a season. Its just such a long season.
I wanted to be out defending crime victims, but really in the end I'd probably just cry myself to sleep each and every night.
I wanted to be working in the animal shelter, but then again if I cut my hand open I wouldn't be able to go to the Dr. without paying $2000 dollars.
I atleast wanted to be bike riding, or hiking the tallest mountain, just to say that happened. Or even taking a nap, even a nap would be more satisfying at this point.
Its just the hard, long days that get to me. I should be grateful, I am in so many ways, but some days I just wanna say, what did I even want to do? How did I end up where I am?
Then I remember the nights with the spears, and the laurens and the scotts and the trinas. I'm grateful for them. I know that's what I'm supposed to be doing. I know that makes it all worth it, but maybe I should've stayed in school. Found something important to claim, some title to bare.
If I would've stayed I wouldn't have half the life I have now. I would still be there, in that dorm. Not knowing what I really cared about.
Its all a puzzle and pieces really do fit just right, its just you don't see the picture until the puzzle is fully finished. I wish this section was complete and I was outside running in a sprinkler.

So my first 5k since highschool is on SATURDAY! I'm pretty nervous. I've felt pretty good about how much training I've done in the last month or so, but I still don' t feel completely ready, as in my body still doesn't feel completely in shape. I guess ready or not at this point.
I have another one scheduled for the end of July, so I'm hoping I'll be able to beat my score from this first race by then.
Ultimate frisbee has been happening 2 or 3 times a week, which is perfect for my life. This summer is really starting out how I envisioned it might happen.
I hiked up a mountain right into a thunderstorm, and then ran down the mountain in a downpour. Now just 10 more of those this summer and I'll be set.
I'm ready to search Provo, Spanish fork, and Payson canyon for more midnight lakes to jump into to. I'm so glad God has brought more crazy people here to do these things with me. It's gonna be a good summer.
Plus I made parmesan encrusted tilapia for dinner last night and I loved it! Its fun trying new ways to make fish. That recipe is definitely a winner, and so easy.
It's good to feel alive.